The Gift of Insanity
by finalfantasygrrl
Summary: how far will the ff8 gang go to get presents for one another on class present exchange day? read to find out!
1. the Beginning

Disclaimer Squaresoft owns the characters, the people who made Spongebob Squarepants somewhat own the plot. Also all the songs belong to not me, whoever wrote them. Yepperz!  
  
Authors Note: Heyho.....it's Ashley, here to write a weird insane fanfic for you all. Keela helped me think of alotta ideas for this, so thank her ^_^. Seifer has again joined the Garden, and Quistis is a teacher again. Irvine takes classes here cuz Galbadia Garden has been destroyed. If I made fun of any FF8 characters, I don't mean it. I like 'em all.. even Seifer. Just to let you know, part of the story is copied from a Spongebob Squarepants (he rocks!!!!!!!!) episode. And if you have a problem with him, you mess with me!!!!  
  
Seifer: Oooooohhhhhhh, threatening!!!!!!  
  
*sniff* Well, here it goes. The beginning isn't very good, the chapters get better as the story progresses. ^_^  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Gift of Insanity  
  
Chapter 1  
  
One fine day with a woof and a purr.......*cough*  
  
Squall: *woofs (actually drones with his boring attitude) into PA* "Hi everybody, this is Squall, your 'commander' *sigh*."  
  
Quistis: *giggles from her classroom*.  
  
Squall: "As everyone knows, today is the official class present exchange day. Every student attending Garden must give a gift to everyone attending the same class. That goes for teachers too. And remember, the gifts must be handmade." *turns off PA and turns to face Rinoa* "Even though you don't attend Garden, Rinoa, we all decided to give you a gift anyway."  
  
Rinoa: *purrs* "It's ok Squall, you don't have to."  
  
Squall: "Naw, we wanna. And you don't have to purr, we get your point."  
  
Rinoa: "Well you didn't have to woof!"  
  
Squall: "I didn't woof, I droned with my boring attitude."  
  
Squall/Rinoa: *yell at each other for a very long period of time*  
  
(Meanwhile in Quistis's classroom)  
  
Quistis: *claps hands* "Ok ok !!!! I know that the only reason all of you love this holiday is because you get the entire day off. Just be sure to be back at 8:00 when we trade presents. Oh, and Seifer, do NOT injure your partner while training" *looks at Zell who has a gigantic cut on his arm*  
  
Seifer: *bangs arm on table*  
  
Quistis: "Ok, dismissed!!!!"  
  
Everyone: *makes mad rush for the door*  
  
Quistis: "Ahhh, Seifer, you stay here, I need to talk to you."  
  
Seifer: *mumbles* "Shit."  
  
Quistis: "I know I can't talk to you about changing your mind about giving everyone in the class a present, but at least give a present to Zell. You only give presents to Fujin and Raijin, and then the presents they get from you are your old used socks that you claim you made when you were two."  
  
Seifer: "So?"  
  
Zell: *comes running in* "Look Seifer, I made you a sweater!"  
  
Seifer: *squints and reads the picture* "I heart class present day." *Shrugs and puts it on* "Uh, it's kinda itchy, what's it made of?"  
  
Zell: "EYELASHES!!!!"  
  
Seifer: "THAT'S IT, YOU'RE DEAD!!!!!"  
  
Zell: *holds up a watery blob* "Dddo, ddo you like this one? I made it from my tears."  
  
Seifer: "AHHHHHH!!!!!!!" *lunges towards Zell *  
  
Quistis: "Seifer! One move and you fail the class. You are also to give Zell a present, or FAIL THE CLASS!!!!!"  
  
Seifer: *lowers the gunblade * "...alright.....I'll buy the chickenwuss a diaper or something."  
  
Quistis: "No, Seifer, you know the most important rule, you must make the present."  
  
Seifer: "I thought the most important rule was 'Why do it today, when you can put it off till tomorrow?' Harharharharhar!"  
  
Quistis: "What is today but yesterday's tomorrow."  
  
Seifer: "Huh?"  
  
Quistis: "Just make it"  
  
Seifer: "Oh alright." *walks out the door*  
  
Cid: "Quistis, come to the bridge right away!"  
  
Quistis: *at the bridge * "Yes headmaster?"  
  
Cid: "Since Squall slammed the door in my face when I asked him at 3:30 AM, could you take care of the garden while I go do business in FH? You will have to take care of everyone on the garden. Oh..and if you do anything to mess up the garden, you will be in BIG, BIG trouble!!!!!!!!" *runs out the door * "YAHOO!!!!! I'm free!!!"  
  
Quistis: "And this...is where the insanity begins." 


	2. only starting

Chapter 2  
  
(Irvine and Squall are in the cafeteria trying to bake a cake for the girls.)  
  
Squall: "So tell me again, Irvine, why is this such a good idea, when we could just buy a cake and pretend we made it?"  
  
Irvine: "Come ON man, like, can't we just do it right for a change?"  
  
Squall: "...whatever. I just give the cake 5 minutes in the oven before it blows up."  
  
Irvine: "What are you talking about? Everyone knows you are supposed to put a cake in a microwave!!!"  
  
Squall: "And why is that?"  
  
Irvine: "Well, duh, how does it get hot?"  
  
Squall: "I seriously doubt your sanity at times."  
  
Irvine: "This cake will be a success and will be in the perfect shape of a hat that these eyes have ever seen!"  
  
(They unsuccessfully try to make the cake and it turns out looking like a green blob)  
  
Squall: "Hmmm, so this is the world famous perfect shaped hat?"  
  
Irvine: *looks at the bubbling, fuzzy blob and makes an unsteady laugh * ".....it must have been that moldy seed I found on the floor...."  
  
Squall: "Really? I thought they looked like beans."  
  
Irvine: "Ok, so you were right. We can still bake it though!"  
  
(With much effort-the cake kept fighting them and trying to escape-Irvine and Squall managed to shove the cake into the oven and lock the door)  
  
Squall: *sets timer on his watch for 5 min. *  
  
Irvine: "What do we do now?"  
  
Squall: "Now, we wait."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Selphie runs out the door and runs straight into Rinoa)  
  
Selphie: "Oh, hi Rinoa! I just made the very best present for Irvine!"  
  
Rinoa: "Really? What is it?"  
  
Selphie: "A fluffy pink bunny toy! I named it Mr. Happy!"  
  
Rinoa: "Oh..". (remembers flashback)  
  
~~ Irvine: "I loved everybody's Christmas present... except for Selphie's. Fluffy pink bunnies scare me."~~  
  
Rinoa: "Why don't you come to my dorm and make something else for Irvine? You already made him a bunny last year."  
  
Selphie: "I made one for you too! It's blue so it can match your outfit! Its name is Mr. Huggable!"  
  
Rinoa: *shudders *  
  
Selphie: "But I'll come anyway, I need to make something for everyone else."  
  
(They flounce off to Rinoa's dorm.)  
  
Rinoa: "I don't know what to make yet, but we can look for stuff in my closet."  
  
(They stumble in and look for materials. The door closes, but neither of them seem to notice)  
  
Rinoa: "Hey, I found another one of your bunnies. And another, and another. Why is my closet filled with your bunnies Selphie?"  
  
Selphie: "Oops! Looks like Mr. Happy isn't a boy after all!"  
  
Rinoa: "But Selphie, these bunnies are made of felt, why would it matter whether Mr. Happy was a boy or not........wait a minute, what exactly did you "put" in those bunnies?"  
  
Selphie: *sweatdrops *  
  
Rinoa: *sigh * "It doesn't matter, let's get out of here, the bunnies are up to my waist."  
  
(Rinoa moves to open the door, but it won't open.)  
  
Rinoa: "Uh oh."  
  
Selphie: *nervously* "What do you *mean* uh oh?"  
  
(She tries to open it but it's no good)  
  
Rinoa: "I forgot this door locks from the outside."  
  
Selphie: "You idiot! You locked the door!"  
  
Rinoa: "I did not! It locked itself!"  
  
Selphie: *pulls harder* "Come on! OPEN!"  
  
Rinoa: "It's not going to listen to you."  
  
Selphie: "Great, now we're going to die in here and no one will ever notice!"  
  
Rinoa: "The bunnies are up to my shoulders now!"  
  
Selphie: "THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Seifer is in Balamb trying to find something he can buy to fake making it)  
  
Seifer: "I can't believe that idiot Quistis is making me actually buy something for that jerkface."  
  
(Walks over to the pier and looks at the water.)  
  
Seifer: *squints * "Is it just me? Or is that blob over there in the water coming closer to me? *sigh * I wish Fujin and Raijin were here. Man they sleep in late."  
  
(The giant blob comes closer and Seifer can see that the blob is actually a ship)  
  
Pirate Captain: "Ahoy there matey! We be passing by so don't mind us."  
  
(They haul a giant bag overfilling with pies onto the land)  
  
Seifer: "Wow, handmade pies!"  
  
First mate: "These aren't handmade, they were made in a factory... a bomb factory...they're bombs."  
  
Seifer: "Oh, I thought they were pies...and I wanted to buy one."  
  
First mate: "But you can't eat them, there are bo."  
  
Pirate Captain: *claps hand over First Mate's mouth * "Hehe, we were just kidding about all that bomb stuff. That'll be 25 gil.  
  
Seifer: "What flavor is it?"  
  
Pirate Captain, First mate, Second mate, third mate: *all at the same time * "Cherry, blueberry, apple, pizza."  
  
Seifer: "Ok..*takes the pie, pays, and heads for the garden*...man, those guys were creepy. But at least I can get this over with." 


	3. almost there

Squall: 3,2,1  
  
(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM the cake blasts all over the cafeteria)  
  
Irvine: "This can't be happening!!"  
  
Squall: "I told you, and it happened right on time, too."  
  
Irvine: "Uh, I think the big problem is not getting suffocated by this gunk."  
  
(They back up against the wall and Irvine picks some of it up with a shovel and tosses it out the cafeteria window. It lands on the hotdog Zell is about to eat and burns a hole through the table.)  
  
Zell: "Awww man, that was the ONLY hot dog left!"  
  
Irvine: "Umm, I think we'd better get out of here. It burned the metal part of the shovel right off."  
  
Squall: "Plus, we'd get in some really big trouble."  
  
(They make a run for it)  
  
Irvine: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" * runs frantically as fast as he can *  
  
Squall: "Irvine, calm down." * jogs slowly at the pace Irvine's running *  
  
Irvine: "How can u be so calm?!?!?!?! The blob is moving and eating tables!"  
  
Squall: "I did win the bet however, we go to Balamb and buy a cake."  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Selphie: "THIS JUST ISN'T FAIR!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Rinoa: *muffled by bunnies* "We'll get out *cough* somehow, Selphie *cough*...these bunnies taste disgusting!" _  
  
Selphie: "We've been in here at least three hours by now, I'll never have time to make a present for everyone!"  
  
Rinoa: "Why don't you just give away your bunnies?"  
  
Selphie: "But they look so cute in your closet, I just thought I could leave maybe seventy in here."  
  
Rinoa: "NO-NO-NO! GIVE AWAY THE BUNNIES!!!!!!!!!"  
  
(There are so many bunnies now, that their weight, plus the weight of Rinoa and Selphie, splintered the door and eventually the whole door crashed down)  
  
Rinoa: "Great, now I don't have a door to my closet."  
  
Selphie: "At least we're free! *tries to open Rinoa's bedroom door but it's no use* Uhhhhhh Rinoa?"  
  
Rinoa: "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Seifer is running toward the cafeteria to give the pie to Zell when Quistis walks up)  
  
Quistis: "So you actually baked a pie for Zell?"  
  
Seifer: "Baked? Oh, oh yeah...yeah I BAKED a pie for Zell."  
  
Quistis: *gives Seifer a weird look* "Ok, but let me have a taste to see if you did it right. It looks delicious."  
  
(Quistis dips a little finger on the side and is just about to eat it when...)  
  
Quistis: "This would taste really good with some milk." *walks over to the milk and trips* "Whoops!" * the piece of pie falls and blows a giant hunk out of the garden *  
  
(Quistis and Seifer go flying out of the garden along with the explosion.)  
  
Quistis: *furiously* "Explain!!!!"  
  
Seifer: "~~~~~~......and that's what happened! I swear, I had no idea it was a bomb!"  
  
(Before anyone can do anything, Zell yells out)  
  
Zell: "Man that was good! Oh, thanks Seifer for the pie." *waves at Quistis and Seifer and skips off*  
  
Quistis: "....you kill him. The boy cries you a sweater of tears, and you kill him."  
  
Seifer: "I didn't mean to, how was I supposed to know there was a bomb in it? Isn't there something we can do?"  
  
Quistis: "Nope."  
  
Seifer: "How the heck do you know!?!?! It's not like you've actually seen this before!"  
  
Quistis: "Yes, as a matter of fact, eleven times. There's nothing you can do. I'd say he has until sundown before the bomb hits his lower intestine."  
  
Seifer: "WHAT??? Wait, I'll call the hospital *calls* what? Can't do anything? Eleven times?! *Sigh* ok then *hangs up* how the heck do we tell him?!?!"  
  
Quistis: "Don't tell him. That'll only make him feel worse. Try to make his last moments his happiest."  
  
Seifer: "I WILL!!! I'm gonna make him as happy as I can. And there's gonna be love! So much he's gonna drown in it...drown in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Quistis: *Note to self, watch out for Seifer.*  
  
Seifer: *walks up to Zell* "Hey Zell, I forgot to tell you, there's a part two to your gift."  
  
Zell: "REALLY!!!!??!?"  
  
Quistis: *cry's and puts up a sign that says "new student wanted"*  
  
Zell: "Hehe" *whispers* "Hey Seifer, looks like they're gonna replace you."  
  
Seifer: "Uhhhhh yeah, listen, what's your most favorite thing to do?"  
  
Zell: "Actually, I keep a list of my favorite things to do!" *takes out a mile long sheet of paper with his favorite things to do on them* "The really fun things, I've marked in red!"  
  
Seifer: *trying to control his temper * "Zell, ALL of the things on the list are marked in red."  
  
Zell: *trying to stifle a giggle * "I know!"  
  
Seifer: *sigh* "Well, lets get this over with. First thing on the list, eat hot dogs.why am I not surprised." *rolls eyes*  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Quistis: "Well, that's over with *looks at the hole in the wall *....uhhhh, maybe not. *Goes to bridge * ummm, an accident has happened in the cafeteria-a bomb has been set off-every Garden student who's ID number is 1 through 1000 is to help me patch up the hole before Headmaster Cid comes back. *goes back to the cafeteria*."  
  
Nida: *Comes walking through the cafeteria*  
  
Fujin and Raijin: *Come walking through at the same moment*  
  
Nida: *Randomly*"...and this is how I eat my Reeces." *takes a bite and throws it as hard as he can*  
  
Raijin: "So ya think Seifer's actually gonna buy Zell something, Fujin?"  
  
(the Reeces spins around and hits Fujin square in the face)  
  
Fujin: "RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *spins around and faces Raijin, practically foaming at the mouth*  
  
Raijin: "Uhhhhh, come on ya know! I didn't do nothing at all!"  
  
Fujin: "ARRRRRGGGGGGG!!!" *drops her lunch and kicks some crab cakes on Raijin*  
  
Raijin: "NO WAY!!! I AM NOT LETTING YOU BEAT ME UP AGAIN!!!!" *throws crabcakes at Fujin's head*  
  
Zell: *from far away* "FOOD FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Quistis: "Huh? Waaaa? NO ZELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Headmaster Cid will kill me!!!"  
  
(nonetheless a food fight starts, to Quistis's disliking)  
  
Quistis: "DISLIKING!!!!!!!!!! HATE-HATE-HATE-HATE!!!!! I'm gonna die!! Be ripped to shreds, wahhhhh wahhhhhhh!!!!" *corncob smacks her face*  
  
(there is a giant war going on right now, even the lunch ladies join in throwing hot dogs)  
  
Zell: "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" *Jumps left and right trying to protect his precious hot dogs, one escapes his grasp and whacks Fujin in the head.*  
  
Fujin: *eye patch comes off*  
  
Everyone in the cafeteria: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Zell: *drops his bundle of hot dogs.*  
  
Raijin: "AHHHHHHHH ya know!!!!! Put it back on! PUT IT BACK ON!!! I won't hit ya no more! I promise!" *cringes*  
  
Fujin: *puts back eye patch* "That's what will happen to you if any one EVER hits me AGAIN!!!!!!"  
  
Rajin: "Wow Fujin's serious, ya know! She only uses proper English when speaking if she's really pissed off!"  
  
Fujin: "YOU THEN NEVER PISSED."  
  
Raijin: "Huh?"  
  
(Quistis is at the back of the cafeteria weeping)  
  
Quistis: "WHY??? WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!?!?!?!? *sees Squall and Irvine zoom by her VERY fast * Hmmm, as an expert Squall observer, I know that Squall doesn't usually run unless there is a crisis at hand." *sees a giant green blob hurtling towards her*  
  
Quistis: *sigh* "Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse..." 


	4. halfway done

Chapter 4  
  
(Irvine and Squall are still running, yes I believe they are jogging [at least Squall is] to the café in Dollet. How is that possible you ask? Why, they are running on the underground train tracks.)  
  
Squall: "Another one of your brilliant ideas, Irvine? And you're positively, absolutely, SURE that one of us won't be hit? Getting killed isn't exactly fun, you know."  
  
Irvine: "Awww, come on man! We won't be hit! Besides, we had to hide somewhere, Quistis looked about ready to stab us..but at least we lost her."  
  
Squall: "How 'bout when we get back to the garden?"  
  
Irvine: "Hmmmm, that is a problem, oh well, I'll probably get another wonderful terrific idea!"  
  
Squall: *rolls eyes*  
  
Irvine: "Hey, we won't be hit, ok? I'll prove it to you!" *jumps in the middle of the tracks and dances around*  
  
Squall: *sees a light coming toward them* "Uhhhh, I don't think that's a very smart idea."  
  
Irvine: "Of course it is! *turns around and sees a train coming full force at him* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" *blacks out*  
  
(2 hours later)  
  
Irvine: *wakes up* "Huh? Waaa? What happened?"  
  
Squall: "Your idea worked, I didn't get hit, but fortunately you did."  
  
Irvine: "Fortunately?!?!?!?!"  
  
Squall: *talking really fast* "Yeah, the train carried you all the way to Dollet. I didn't have to wait for your slow moving legs to catch up to me. Well, since you were running in the tracks like that, it was inevitable. I also casted Protect on you right before you got hit, if I hadn't done that, you would have been killed. Also, I had to waste a whole Full Life magic on you, do know how hard it is to find those???? Geez, be more considerate of my feelings next time."  
  
Irvine: *blink*  
  
Squall: *sigh* "Yeah, Rinoa was right, I do need to spend more time away from you guys, especially Selphie and her *shudder* "cheerfulness". Let's go, the café is only a few blocks away."  
  
(they arrive at the café)  
  
Irvine: "Hey, so like, you get the cake and I'm gonna check out that jukebox and see if its got "Barney's on fire"."  
  
Squall: "...I'm not going to even ask. *Goes to pick up the cake* What???? We have to wait? But I just called and you said it was ready!"  
  
(Meanwhile Irvine is trying to find his song on the jukebox)  
  
Irvine: "What the hell is this crap? Look at all these country songs! "Well, Slap a Donkey and Shove a Crowbar up your Nose"??? There's only this gay ass "country" music! Country music sucks ass!! Look at all these stupid cowboy wannabes. Blah-blah-blah-blah!!"  
  
Squall: "When I'm around Irvine, nothing surprises me."  
  
Irvine: "No way, man! I ain't playin' dat crap!" *his eyes widen* "Oh, hell! this is the stuff!"  
  
(he puts some gil into the slot and presses the keys to play the song)  
  
Irvine: "YEHAWWW! We be jammin now!"  
  
(Nothing. Someone coughs)  
  
Irvine: "Wut the??? Why ain't this %$$%*$)^&^ piece of crap working?!?!?!? I'm gonna get my money back for sure!"  
  
(he sticks his finger all the way up the coin change slot. *pause* *laughs*, sorry. Anyway, he's feeling around up there)  
  
Irvine: "Squall, I can't find the gil!"  
  
Squall: "Oh never mind Irvine, just forget about the money. Anyways, we have to wait for the cake, they say its not done yet. I paid in advance."  
  
Irvine: "Damn, man! And now I got no jammin' tunes!" *he tries to pull his finger out but can't* "What the..." *pulls harder* My finger's stuck in the hole!!!"  
  
Squall: *grumbles* "This is going to be a loooong day."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Back to our fave closet girls Selphie and Rinoa)  
  
Rinoa: "I get it now, unmoving objects hate me. They do."  
  
Selphie: "C'mon Rinoa, it's not that bad, even though the bunnies are sort of a problem, they're all falling out your window now."  
  
Rinoa: "We'll just crash down the door again, that's what we'll do!" *runs toward the door with a baseball bat*  
  
Selphie: "NO RINOA!!!!!!" *grabs the baseball bat away from Rinoa*  
  
Rinoa: "How do we get out then?!?!?!"  
  
Selphie: "There must be a way...how about your window? We could jump out!"  
  
Rinoa: "Could there be a less painful way?"  
  
Selphie: "....no."  
  
(they plug their noses and jump out the window)  
  
Rinoa: "GERONIMO!!! *thud* Owwww, I landed in a bush....Selphie, Selphie?"  
  
Selphie: "Ummmm, I'm in a tree."  
  
Rinoa: "That's ok, at least we're out of the Garden."  
  
(the garden starts to move toward the ocean)  
  
Rinoa: "What the?!?!? The Garden wasn't scheduled to leave Balamb till tomorrow."  
  
(inside the Garden)  
  
Zell: "DUDE! THIS IS INCREDIBLY AWESOME!!!!!"  
  
Seifer: *sigh* "Zell, I still think it's not a good idea to fly the Garden when you don't know how."  
  
Zell: "But it was on my list.and wasn't it fun tying up Xu and Nida!?"  
  
Seifer: *thoughtfully* "I agree..but what if people are still in Balamb.. they're stuck there. And what if someone actually fell out of the Garden in an attempt to escape a locked room?"  
  
Zell: "Tch, I don't know anyone stupid enough to do that."  
  
(back to the bush girls)  
  
Rinoa: "Now we're stuck here."  
  
Selphie: "Let's just get out of these plants and go to Balamb. We can phone Quistis and ask her what's going on. I'm sure everything is under control over there. Quistis never loses it during these situations."  
  
(inside the Garden)  
  
Quistis: "What?!?!?!? What is happening!!!!?? The Garden is NOT supposed to move until tomorrow! It was hard enough to kill that green blob Irvine set lose. *loses it completely* WHY??? Why does it happen to me?!?!?!! *the hunk of Garden they were fixing falls off* NOOOOO, now we have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN!!! I swear I'll kill whoever's responsible for this!"  
  
(back to the bush girls)  
  
Selphie: "I can't move..."  
  
Rinoa: "Neither can I. Does this mean we're stuck again?"  
  
Selphie: "We'll get out, we will! *tries to get out* We're stuck, aren't we?"  
  
Rinoa: ".....Yes."  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Zell is still driving the Garden to who knows where)  
  
Seifer: *hears Quistis's shoes click as they walk towards the bridge* "Zell, we'd better get out of here, I hear Quistis."  
  
(they make a run for it)  
  
Quistis: *arrives at bridge* "What the .....Garden's moving WITHOUT A PILOT!!!!!!!! Nida, get here right away!"  
  
Nida: *arrives with tied hands and is gagged.*  
  
Quistis: *rips off gag* "What happened here??"  
  
Nida: "Two masked men just grabbed me and threw me in a closet!"  
  
Quistis: *catches Seifer and Zell about to run away* "And what are you two doing here?"  
  
Seifer: *whispers to Zell* "Act natural. *out loud* We were very startled about the moving of the Garden, so we decided to come up here and investigate."  
  
Quistis: "Ok..Zell what are you doing?"  
  
(Zell keeps pushing his hair back and saying "yah baby")  
  
Seifer: *hisses from the side of his mouth* "I said act natural, not diseased!"  
  
Zell: "Huh? Oh! I get it!... no, no I don't."  
  
Quistis: *sigh* "Ok, dismissed."  
  
(they run down the hall as fast as their feet can carry them.)  
  
Seifer: "'m glad that's over with. What's next on your god forsaken list?"  
  
Zell: "Hmmm. Knock knock jokes! Knock knock!"  
  
Seifer: "Who's there?"  
  
Zell: *stifles a giggle* "ME!"  
  
Seifer: "Oh god, that was gay."  
  
(we see Seifer with Zell tied to his face)  
  
Zell: "And turn right!"  
  
Seifer: *turns right*  
  
Zell: "And that is what it would be like if you had me for a face!"  
  
Seifer: "I can't breathe."  
  
Zell: "Ok! Now we eat hot dogs!"  
  
Seifer: "Today is the worst day of my life." *shakes head*  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Quistis: "Ok, now that that crisis is over with, we come to the food fight."  
  
(the food fight is still going on, some students are so messy they looks like dead monsters from the planet glob.  
  
Fujin: "TOO MESSY."  
  
Raijin: "You said it, ya know? We have to stop this."  
  
Quistis: "I know what to do. HEY EVERYONE! IF SO MUCH AS ONE PERSON THROWS ANY TYPE OF FOOD IN THE GARDEN, I WILL PERMANENTLEY MAKE SURE THAT THE CAFETERIA STOPS SELLING CHEEZ WIZ!"  
  
Everyone: *stops throwing abruptly*  
  
Quistis: "AND EVERYONE IN THE FOOD FIGHT WILL HELP CLEAN UP THE MESS AND REBUILD THE CHUNK MISSING IN THE WALL OR.....OR FUJIN WILL TAKE OFF HER EYEPATCH AGAIN!"  
  
Everyone: "AHHHHHHHH!!!!" *they immediately get to work*  
  
Quistis: "Well, that worked out quite lovely." 


	5. its ALMOST OVER! STAY WITH ME! (one of m...

Chapter 5  
  
(Back at the café....things aren't going to well for Irvine and Squall. Irvine's finger is *still* stuck in the jukebox, and Squall is sitting there with his head in his hands..)  
  
Irvine: "Come on man!!!! Someone's gotta help me get out of this deathtrap! Just go get the cake Squall!"  
  
Squall: "They said it was 5-10 min."  
  
Irvine: "Well ask em again!"  
  
Squall: "How long will the cake take?"  
  
Shopkeeper: "It will take 5-10 min."  
  
Squall: "But that's what you said 3 hours ago."  
  
Irvine: "ARRRGGGGGG! Give the frikin cake to Squall right now!!" *shoots his gun in the air and bangs his arm on the jukebox *  
  
(The song "oops I did it again" comes on and Irvine's finger pops out)  
  
Irvine: "YEHAWWWWWWWWW I'm free!"  
  
Squall: "The guy ran in the back mumbling something about it'll be 3-4 min."  
  
Irvine: "Yeah, man, my finger hurts. Hey did you put more change in the parking meter for the car we rented?"  
  
Squall: *dully* "Oops."  
  
Irvine: "S'all right Squall-I'll do it." *walks outside and puts the change in. * "What the? It's not working! Hmmm. I'll probably get my finger stuck if I put my finger in. I won't lose my temper." *waits for 5 sec* "Arggg I'm getting back my money!"  
  
(He sticks his finger all the way up the money slot and gets his finger stuck yet once again)  
  
Irvine: "Oh no."  
  
Britney: "Oops I did it again"  
  
Squall: "You didn't...please tell me you didn't."  
  
Irvine: "Ok, I won't tell you."  
  
Shopkeeper: "It'll be 3-4 min."  
  
----------------------------------  
  
(Rinoa is in a VERY uncomfortable position, ewww no you sickos!, and Selphie is singing high hopes)  
  
Rinoa: "Will you please shut UP??"  
  
Selphie: *stops* "But we need high hopes to get out of this."  
  
Rinoa: "Yeah, well I still don't understand how you can sing for 3 hours straight with out losing your breath or mind. I sure lost both."  
  
Selphie: *in the most annoying voice you can think of* "well he's got HIIIIIIIIGH HOPES he's got HIIIIIGHT HOPES he's got HIGH APPLE PIE IN THE SKYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HOPES!!!!!!!!"  
  
Rinoa: "SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! *thrashes about like a wild maniac* ..hey I'm free, I'm FREE!!!!!!!! Ok Selphie, stop singing and I'll help you out of there just stand still."  
  
Selphie: "NO-NO-NO-NO I wanna stay, I wanna stay!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Rinoa: "Hmmmm, I have to get you out Selphie or ...or.... *picks up a bunny that fell out of the Garden* this bunny will get a ripped ear!"  
  
Selphie: "*gasp!* Alright! Alright! I'll get out, just don't hurt Mrs. Fluffles." *jumps out of the tree easily*  
  
Rinoa: "What!?!?!?!??! You could get out of the tree all along?!!?!? Why didn't you just jump out in the first place!!!!!??? Besides I thought you said you couldn't move."  
  
Selphie: "I could. Mr. Muffykins couldn't. I was trying to say I can't move Mr. Muffykins's arm, but you cut me off."  
  
Rinoa: *sigh* "I'll keep that in mind. Come on, I have to get to Balamb and buy a pie or something since we only have a few hours left."  
  
Selphie: *cheerfully * "That's not the spirit!"  
  
Rinoa: "We have to drive a car, the road's blocked and we both left our weapons in my closet. We have to find a car somewhere."  
  
(By some miracle they spot a beautiful, red Ferrari in the grass, there are Griever pendants everywhere and a Griever hood ornament)  
  
Rinoa: "AHHH so *this* is where Squall hides his precious car!"  
  
Selphie: "There's a note in it."  
  
Rinoa: *reads note* "This is private property of Squall Leonhart. If ANY ONE SO TOUCHES THIS CAR, SOMETHING YOU WILL REGRET WILL HAPPEN!!! Hmmmm, Squall wouldn't do anything to me. C'mon, this note is probably to scare people off or something. And he even left his keys in here."  
  
(They jump in)  
  
Selphie: "Well nothing has happened to us so far."  
  
(All of a sudden the car makes a high pitched squeaky sound over and over and the doors lock, the seatbelts trap Rinoa and Selphie in. Squall's voice comes on the speakerphones)  
  
Squall: * "I TOLD YOU NOT TO GET INTO THE CAR, RINOA! I KNOW YOU READ THE NOTE! I WILL FIND YOU AND YOU WILL PAY!" *  
  
Selphie: "I told you not to get in, when Squall yells, even if it's on a note, he's dead serious."  
  
Rinoa: *frowns* "Squall's always serious."  
  
Selphie: "Don't worry we'll get out, but we'll just get stuck again I bet."  
  
Rinoa: "That's what I'm afraid of."  
  
Selphie: "HE'S GOT HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH HOPES!!!!!!!!"  
  
-------------------------------  
  
(Zell is having the time of his life eating hot dogs and Seifer is well...not to happy)  
  
Seifer: "That's your 118th hot dog chickenwuss!!!!!!"  
  
Zell: "Good, you counted. But I still have to get to 200 then I set a world record. And DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!!!!"  
  
(2 min later)  
  
Zell: "200 HOT DOGS BABY!!!!!!! Now if you look in the world records book, you'll see my name under most eaten hot dogs in 4 minutes!"  
  
Seifer: "If you looked up stupid in the dictionary, you'll see Zell Dincht's picture."  
  
Zell: "NAW HUH!!!!! ....I was sick during the photo session."  
  
Seifer: "If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have $1."  
  
Zell: "Does that mean I have a ear? Wait no I don't, yeah I do!"  
  
Seifer: "... That was way too much information. So what's next on your list?"  
  
Zell: "Hmmm what's this? Save Irvine from a parking meter at the café in Dollet?!? Who put this? I don't remember writing this. .oh well, its on my list so we gotta do it. Lets roll!" Duh duh duh duh da duh duh. Duh duh dadada duh da. *sings Powerpuff Girls theme*  
  
(They arrive)  
  
Zell: "Yo, sup Squall? My list says that we halfta save Irvine from a parking meter!"  
  
Squall: "I'm not gonna even ask. He's in the parking lot. I tried to help him but it's no use."  
  
(They walk over to Irvine)  
  
Irvine: "Like, how the hell did you guys get here?"  
  
Zell: *shows list *  
  
Irvine: "Umm, yeah ok, well just get me outta here."  
  
Zell: "You got it." *puts a black cloth over Irvine's hand mumbles the words "Seifer sucks royal dick!" and presto! Irvine's hand came out. *  
  
Irvine: "Wow that was coool!!!!!!!"  
  
Seifer: "What were those magic words again, I didn't hear them."  
  
Squall: "Ummm, we won't tell you, but I liked them very much."  
  
Irvine: "Well at least my finger can see daylight again. You know, I'm incredibly thirsty, lets get a soda back in the café."  
  
Zell: "Ok!! But as long as you pay, Irvine."  
  
Irvine: "Yeah ok."  
  
(They all go back to the café)  
  
Irvine: "I am NOT getting my finger stuck again. Squall, you put in the change."  
  
Squall: "Ok. *Puts in change * hey, it worked for me, mmmm soda.. Pepsi's the best."  
  
Irvine: "Ok, then I can put my change in, it won't bomb out now!!" *puts in change *  
  
(Nothing happens, crickets chirp)  
  
Seifer: "Weird weather we're having. Crickets chirping in the day."  
  
Irvine: "Oh no you don't !!!!!!!!"  
  
(Our Irvy yet once again, defies the law of giving up change, he sticks up his finger again... and gets stuck, again.)  
  
(Meanwhile Squall and Seifer are having another argument)  
  
Seifer: "What the heck are you talking bout Puberty Boy? Coke rocks this world!"  
  
Squall: "Pepsi up your ass."  
  
Seifer: "Ya? Well Coke ...Coke sound cooler."  
  
Zell: *feebly * "I like 7up."  
  
Seifer: "Up yours, Chickenwuss!"  
  
Zell: "Hey I just heard my slogan!"  
  
Squall: "Pepsi has a theme song."  
  
Seifer: "Ya? Well so does Coke."  
  
Squall: "You just don't like Pepsi cuz the little girl scares you, Seifer."  
  
Seifer: *menacingly* "Squall."  
  
Squall: *glowers* "Seifer."  
  
Seifer: "Squall."  
  
Zell: *stifles a giggle and makes a large grin* "Zell!"  
  
Irvine: "I need help here."  
  
Seifer: "I need to be a least 80 feet away from Puberty Boy. I'm leaving."  
  
Zell: "Ok I'll come with you we still need 1 more thing to do!!!!"  
  
Seifer: "YESSSSSSS!!!! And what would that be? More hot dogs?"  
  
Zell: "Nope. To watch the sunset with whoever is doing this list with me,.. That would be you Seifer!"  
  
Seifer: *Thinks to himself * "Sunset...sunset. SUNSET!!!!! Quistis said that he has until sunset before...."*Gulps* "Ok, Zell, you want a sunset..I'll give you a sunset!!!!"  
  
Irvine: "Ummm, a little help here?"  
  
-------------------------  
  
Quistis: "Yes, everything is going according to plan. I blackmail people with Fujin's eye and everyone will fix the garden and clean it till it sparkles. I might even get a raise."  
  
(With a matter of minutes the everyone in the garden cleans up the garden, the hole in the garden is fixed too.)  
  
Raijin: *Runs up.* "Hey, I cleaned my room ^_^. Aren't you all proud of me?"  
  
Fujin: "NO."  
  
Raijin: "Fine." *sees a loose bolt in the hunk of the Garden that they fixed* "Huh? What's this?" *Pulls the bolt *  
  
Quistis: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
(The whole hunk falls away)  
  
Quistis: *Just stands there *  
  
Headmaster Cid: "I'm back! Quistis how were things in the garden?"  
  
Quistis: "CRAP!!!!!" 


	6. *sniffle* one more chapter to write

Chapter 6  
  
Squall: "So you got your hand stuck again?"  
  
Irvine: "It's not my fault! Your money worked, why didn't mine?"  
  
Squall: "So lets do the same thing Zell did, they left the cloth here."  
  
Irvine: "I'd like to see you try."  
  
Squall: "Ok "*puts cloth over Irvine's hand * "Ok what were the magic words again? I think they were Seifer sucks ass."  
  
Irvine: "No they were Seifer sucks himself."  
  
Squall: "No Seifer sucks ass."  
  
Irvine: "No Seifer sucks himself."  
  
Squall: "Well, both are true. Let's try them"  
  
(They try both combinations, but neither work)  
  
Irvine: "So what so we do now?"  
  
Squall: "Do you see any one around?"  
  
Irvine: *Looks around * "No, no one's in sight. The shopkeeper went in the back."  
  
Squall: "Ok." *takes out gunblade *  
  
Irvine: "HEY MAN, WATCH WHERE YOU SWING THAT THING!"  
  
Squall: "Its ok" *takes a giant swing*  
  
(The whole vending machine gets cut in half, Irvine's hand is freed.)  
  
Squall: "Ok, grab a cake and run."  
  
(They make a run for it.) (Hehe, I like saying that a lot.)  
  
Shopkeeper: *comes out in the front and walks right past the vending machine * "My beautiful cake!!!!! Someone stole it!"  
  
(Irvine and Squall made it to the parking lot)  
  
Irvine: *pant, pant, * "Ok, lets get in the car back to the rental station an walk back the way we came."  
  
Squall: "We have to find another way back, I don't want to waste another full-life on you. So we'll take the car around and go to a train station so we can ride in an actual train."  
  
Irvine: "Ok so let's get in the car."  
  
(They enter, Squall gets in with no problem)  
  
Irvine: "OWWWW the frikin door slammed shut on my already SORE FINGER!!!!!!"  
  
Squall: "Oh, I forgot to tell you, the door slams automatically if you put an object directly in front of it for 3 minutes."  
  
Irvine: "Thanks for that piece of info, but isn't it a little LATE to be telling me this? I'm in pain!"  
  
Squall: *Gets out of the car* "Ok, let me help you, the guy said that you could get the object out by yanking it." *He grabs hold of Irvine's waist and yanks for all he's worth *  
  
(A little boy and his mom pass by.)  
  
Little Boy: "Mommy, what are those men doing?"  
  
Mother: *covers child's eyes* "Nothing dear, you'll learn when you're older. Its what happened to Daddy, and I don't want it to happen to you."  
  
Squall: *overhears them * "Huh? Wait.." *lets go of Irvine and starts running toward them * "ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!I ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK!!!!"  
  
Mother: "AHHHHHH the mad man is chasing after us!!" *Grabs child and runs *  
  
Little boy: "Bye bye mister! I'll do that with my friend when I get home!"  
  
Squall: "Mister? Why do all these little kids keep calling me that?"  
  
Irvine: "Maybe they meant to say miser. Now help me out of here!!!!!"  
  
Squall: "No way, what if all these little kids see us? You're on your own."  
  
Irvine: "Damn man!" * pulls and pulls for a couple of hours*  
  
(A random mime pops out behind a car and starts to mimic Irvine.)  
  
Irvine: "What the hell? Get away from me you freak!" *Takes off his hat and starts waving it at the mime. * "Go away!"  
  
(The mime pretends to take off a hat and waves it a Irvine.)  
  
Irvine: "NO-NO-NO!!!!" *stomps foot*  
  
(The mime mouths no-no-no and stomps his foot noiselessly.)  
  
Irvine: "ARRRRRGGGGGG!!!" *takes one step backward and his finger pops out. * "Whoa." *aims gun at mime's head * "Leave and you get to keep your head."  
  
Mime: *Runs for it*  
  
Squall: "The cake melted."  
  
Irvine: "Whattt!!!!" ^$&$*%^* "Now we have to go back and get another one."  
  
Squall: "OH NO!!"  
  
Irvine: "What is it?!?!?!"  
  
Squall: "Its 8:00,they're exchanging presents now!"  
  
(They make a mad scramble for the café)  
  
Irvine: "We need a new cake ... NOW."  
  
Shopkeeper: "Hey that cake you have, it was my most beautiful creation, and you ruined it!! You are the ones who stole it!"  
  
Squall: "Yeah, but we paid for a cake and never got one, so we took this one."  
  
Shopkeeper: "You can have another cake, but I get to keep the money you gave me and you have to pay for the next one, triple the price."  
  
Irvine: "WHATTT???? No way man, we'll go somewhere else, and I'm taking back my money for the wait we had to wait."  
  
(He lunges toward the cash register and grabs a handful of money, he's just about to make a run for it, when his finger gets stuck in the cash register drawer)  
  
Irvine: "This isn't good"  
  
Shopkeeper: "Hello police?"  
  
Squall: "Uh, I'll just be leaving now." *Turns around and runs straight into the police. *  
  
Police: "We found this mime trying to stick his finger in a car, does he have any thing to do with you."  
  
Squall: "No."  
  
Irvine: "YES!!!!! He made us do it arrest him!"  
  
Police: "Ok, but you'll be arrested too."  
  
Irvine: "Shit."  
  
Police: *Turns to mime * "You have the right to remain silent."  
  
Irvine: *Laughs *  
  
Police: "What was that?"  
  
Irvine: "Well, haha, with the mimes, and the silence... and the seriousness..."  
  
Police: *Glowers*  
  
Irvine: "....Never mind."  
  
Police: "Wait aren't you Irvine Kinneas and Squall Leonhart? The ones who saved the world from the reign of Ultimecia?  
  
Irvine: *pushes hair back * "That would be me." *macho grin*  
  
Police: "Alright since you saved the world and all, I'll let you off if you answer this question correctly."  
  
Squall: "Sure."  
  
Police: "Why is lemon juice made of artificial flavors and dishwashing detergent made with real lemons?"  
  
Squall: "......"  
  
Irvine: "..... what kind of quest.."  
  
Police: "OK you are both going to jail!"  
  
Irvine: "Wait! Give us another chance!"  
  
Police: "Ok. If the #2 pencil is so great, why is it still #2?"  
  
Irvine: "...."  
  
Squall:" ....."  
  
Police: "You're both going to jail."  
  
------------------------------  
  
(Rinoa and Selphie are still in Squall's Ferrari)  
  
Selphie: "This reminds me of a song!"  
  
Rinoa: "God no."  
  
Selphie: "Its called "Piece of Shit Car"! Here it goes!"  
  
(Sings it over and over until you would by then have it memorized.)  
  
Selphie: "I'll stop if you sing it with me!"  
  
Rinoa: "Ok, but please stop after this."  
  
(Authors note: This is the greatest song of all time, Adam Sandler sings it. Download it!)  
  
Selphie: "Here we go!"  
  
Rinoa: "No, no, no."  
  
Selphie: "Oooo oooooo oooooo oooooooo."  
  
Rinoa: "Piece of shit car."  
  
Selphie: "I got a piece of shit car."  
  
Rinoa: "That fuckin' pile of shit, never gets me very far."  
  
Selphie: "My car's a big piece of shit."  
  
Rinoa: "Cause' the shocks are fukin shot."  
  
Selphie: "And the seatbelts fukin broken."  
  
Rinoa: "I got to tie it in a knot."  
  
Selphie: "It's a piece of shit!"  
  
Selphie: "I can't see through the windshield."  
  
Rinoa: "Cause' its got a big fukin crack."  
  
Selphie: "And the interior smells real bad."  
  
Rinoa: Cause' my friend puked in the back."  
  
Selphie: "It's a piece of shit."  
  
Rinoa: "Piece of shit car."  
  
Selphie: "Piece of shit car."  
  
Rinoa: "He's got a piece of shit car."  
  
Selphie: "IT SUCKS ROYAL DICK!"  
  
Rinoa: "That fukin pile a shit."  
  
Selphie: "Never gets me very far."  
  
Rinoa: "Oh fuck you car."  
  
Selphie: "It's got no CD player."  
  
Rinoa: "It's only got the 8 track."  
  
Selphie: "Whoever designed my car can lick my ...."  
  
Rinoa: "And I got no fukin brakes...."  
  
Selphie: "Hey I didn't finish here!"  
  
Rinoa: "That's enough, I sang half of it, now we have to stop!"  
  
Selphie: *pouts* "Fine then."  
  
Rinoa: "Well as long as we're stuck here, we should listen to the radio." *Turns on the radio with feet. *  
  
(The song "Smelly Cat" comes on.)  
  
Selphie: "YES!!!!!!!"  
  
Rinoa: "Help me someone, please."  
  
--------------------  
  
(We see Zell and Seifer lying on the grass waiting for the sun to go down.")  
  
Zell: "This is great. just you, me, and that brick wall you built between us."  
  
Seifer: "Eh heh heh" *sweatdrops*  
  
Zell: "Say, Seifer, what do sunsets remind you of? They remind me of big bowls of hot dogs."  
  
Seifer: *imagines Zell blowing up* "Explosions.... I mean erosions, erosions!"Zell: "You know if I were to die in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend or enemy, well, that'll just be ok."  
  
Seifer: *thinks to himself* "Oh no, the suns going to go down any second."  
  
Zell: "Here it comes! 5...you do the rest buddy!"  
  
Seifer: *shakily* "ffffoo.uurr,... thrrrreeeee, ttttww..oo...ooooonnnnEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
(Nothing happens)  
  
Zell: "I guess we started to early! Count again Seifer!"  
  
Seifer: "Fffffiiiive..fourrrrr.tthhrhreeeee..ttwwwwoooo...oonneeeeeeeeEE!!!!"  
  
(BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.)  
  
Seifer: *sniff* "At least I made his last moments meaningful. *turns to leave *.......WHAT!?!?!?!?"  
  
---------------------  
  
Quistis: "What do I do?!?!??!? What do I do?!?!?!?!"  
  
Cid: "I'm coming in now!"  
  
Quistis: "CRAP CRAP CRAP!"  
  
(Cid comes in)  
  
Cid: "HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPENED HERE!!!?!!"  
  
Quistis: "I'm SOOO-SO sorry sir, it was all Seifer's fault and then Raijin and the food fight everything fell and the driving to the sea and the...*sees the headmaster smiling* wtf?"  
  
Cid: "Well you certainly did better than me on my first day."  
  
(Complete silence. the hunk of garden hanging by that one bolt completely falls off and crashes with a thud.)  
  
Cid: "I was just testing you. I knew that bad things would happen."  
  
Quistis: *fuming* "You out me through ALL THAT STRESS AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!?!?!??!?!?!"  
  
Cid: "Now you see what I have to go through. Well enough of that. Lets open presents!.....Quistis, what are you doing with that whip?!?!?!? AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" 


	7. i'm FINALLY done ^_^

Chapter 7  
  
(We see out cuties in jail MWAHAHAHAHAHA *wheeze*)  
  
Irvine: "This is ALL YOUR FAULT, ALL YOURS!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Squall: *closes eyes* "Well you were the one who robbed the store, Irvine."  
  
Irvine: Ya, ya? Well you didn't tell me that the door was automatic!"  
  
Squall: "Whatever, we have one phone call. I guess we'll have to call Rinoa, since I'm sure Quistis would not be too happy to bail us out of jail after she had to clean up your cake, Irvine. "  
  
Irvine: "MY CAKE?!?!?!?! MINE ? You contributed as much green to that glob as me!"  
  
Squall: "Whatever."  
  
(They call Rinoa and she picks up, but they can't hear her over the loud sound of "Smelly Cat")  
  
Rinoa: "This is torture!!!!! .... wait a min." *turns off radio with feet*  
  
Selphie: "I was listening to that!!!!!"  
  
Rinoa: "My phone just rang, and I think I accidentally turned it on! *With much difficulty, she manages to get her hand out of the seatbelt and pick up her phone.* "Hello?"  
  
Squall: "Rinoa? This is Squall. You need to bail us out of jail. Dipshit here robbed a cake store."  
  
Irvine: "HEY!"  
  
Rinoa: "This might not be the best of times to be calling. You see we're stuck in your..."  
  
Selphie: *drags foot across throat * "he'll kill us!"  
  
Squall: "Where? Where are you stuck?"  
  
Rinoa: "Ummmm"  
  
Squall: "DID YOU FIND MY FERRARI!?!?!?!"  
  
Rinoa: *very quickly* "Selphie wants to talk to you."  
  
Selphie: "What are you crazy, I don't want to talk to Squall when he's mad!!!!!...hello? speaking? Oh hi Squall! Haven't talked to you for a while. Wassssup?"  
  
Squall: "..yea, well bail us out and we'll forgive you."  
  
Selphie: "How exactly do we do that?"  
  
Squall: *Does something * "Ok you can get out now."  
  
Rinoa: "We're freed!"  
  
(Rinoa drives Squall's Ferrari to the D-District prison. meanwhile)  
  
Irvine: "I know! Lets do that thing they did in Shanghai Noon when *they* were in prison!"  
  
Squall: "No. That was sick and disturbing. Besides, Rinoa and Selphie are on their way to bail us out."  
  
Irvine: *pouts* "It would have worked."  
  
(Selphie and Rinoa come in)  
  
Squall: "I've never been so happy to see you guys!"  
  
Rinoa: "You're never happy, period."  
  
Squall: "......"  
  
Irvine: "We're free, we're free!!!!!!" *Does the disco*  
  
(They get in Squall's Ferrari and drive back to the garden)  
  
Squall: "Its 11:00, now there's no way that we can exchange presents."  
  
Rinoa: We were trapped in your car the whole day, so there was no way I could have made anything."  
  
Irvine: *feebly* "We have this melted cake."  
  
Rinoa: "I have nothing, except for the *twitch* things Selphie made."  
  
Irvine: *puts arm around Selphie* "So Selphie, what did ya get for Irvy?" *wink*  
  
Selphie: *cheerfully* "Well, Rinoa said you didn't like my pink bunnies."  
  
Irvine: *shudders* "That would be correct."  
  
Selphie: "So I got you blue ones!"  
  
Irvine: *sweatdrops* "Eh.."  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
*BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*  
  
Seifer: "How could Zell blow up a second time?"  
  
*BBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM*  
  
Seifer: "Huh?" *Peeks over the corner of the wall*  
  
(Zell is calmly sitting there playing video games)  
  
Seifer: "WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?"  
  
Zell: "Oh hi Seifer! I got bored of the sunset, so I brought along this gameboy to play. I even made a new list of fun things to do. We should get done by next January."  
  
Seifer: "Bbbbbut, how, whrere ,da, huh,sjajahvmpflkLKjs!??!!!%$^%$!?!!?!!!!??!"  
  
Zell: "Seifer! We already played "Babble like an Idiot"!"  
  
Seifer: "Why didn't you blow up!!!! Blow up! blow up!"  
  
Zell: "You want me to blow up?"  
  
Seifer: "YES I WANT YOU TO BLOW UP!"  
  
Zell: "Ok, I'll try. SQUALL, YOU ARE GOING TO FINISH YOUR HOT DOGS AND LIKE IT, WHETHER YOU ARE FULL OR NOT!!!!! Now you try."  
  
Seifer: "NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BLOW UP BECAUSE THERE WAS A BOMB IN YOUR PIE!"  
  
Zell: "That was a good one Seifer!"  
  
Seifer: "That's not what I meant! What about that bomb you ate!"  
  
Zell: "A bomb?"  
  
Seifer: "Yes! That pie that you ate! There was a bomb in it!"  
  
Zell: *Takes a pie out of his pocket* "Oh you mean this pie? Dahahahahha" *laughs like Spongebob* "I saved it so we could eat it together! Here, lets eat it."  
  
(He takes a step towards Seifer and trips over a little pebble)  
  
Zell: "Whoops!"  
  
(BBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM, the pie blows up in Seifer's face)  
  
Seifer: "Ouch."  
  
----------------------------------  
  
(It's now 12:00 A.M. and everyone is in the infirmary)  
  
Squall: "Now we've lost all hope of ever exchanging presents."  
  
Rinoa: "That's ok, I didn't make anything anyway."  
  
Squall: "We were going to give you guys a cake, but Irvine decided to get arrested instead."  
  
Irvine: "Hey!"  
  
Selphie: "My present to you guys is to sing the smelly cat song!"  
  
Rinoa: "PLEASE NO!"  
  
Selphie: "Ok here it goes! Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody!"  
  
Everyone: "Smelly cat, smelly cat, its not you fault."  
  
Selphie: "Rinoa!"  
  
Rinoa: "They won't take you to the vet."  
  
Selphie: "Squall!"  
  
Squall: *sigh* "Obviously not their favorite pet."  
  
Selphie: "Zell!"  
  
Zell: "May not be a bed of roses."  
  
Selphie: "Quistis!"  
  
Quistis: "You're no friend .. what was I supposed to say?"  
  
Everyone: "Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, its not your fault!!!!!!"  
  
Squall: "That was scary."  
  
Zell: *Turns to Seifer who is totally covered in bandages, you can only see his eyes, nose and mouth.* "So, does this mean we aren't friends Seifer?"  
  
Seifer: "Uuurrrgggg." *Tries to kick Zell, but the cast gets in the way*  
  
Zell: *Sigh* "I guess its back to torment everyday."  
  
Headmaster Cid: "So none of you made any presents?"  
  
Squall: "We tried to buy one, but Irvine got arrested. He also got his finger stuck in a jukebox, a vending machine, a parking meter, a car, and a cash register.  
  
Rinoa: "We got stuck in a closet, bedroom, tree, bush, and a Ferrari.  
  
Quistis: "Squall and Irvine caused a food fight and Seifer blew a hole in the cafeteria."  
  
Zell: "I forgot."  
  
Quistis: "I did make brownies however."  
  
Selphie: "Here Seifer, have a brownie." *Gives brownie to Seifer*  
  
Rinoa: "At least you made something for Class Present Exchange Day, Quistis. Yummyful brownies."  
  
Quistis: "They are good aren't they?"  
  
(They stuff themselves with brownies and drink milk)  
  
Selphie: "YEP! I love chocolate with milk!"  
  
Irvine: "I like chocolate with lemonade."  
  
Everyone except Squall and Seifer: "EWWWWW!!!!  
  
(Meanwhile, Seifer is chewing his brownie, he sees everyone drinking milk, and, well, he's getting pretty thirsty.  
  
Seifer: "MMMM GRRR UUGG!!!!!"  
  
Quistis: "What is it Seifer?"  
  
Seifer: *Tries to reach for their milk glasses.* "RRUUUGGGGGG!"  
  
Rinoa: "I can't understand what he's saying."  
  
Zell: "Me neither."  
  
Everyone: "Eh." *They leave*  
  
Squall: "Well, I come to one conclusion, this day did not make any sense."  
  
(Authors note: Of course not, I wrote it!)  
  
Seifer: "Hhhhuurrrrggg??? AAAARRGGGGG!"  
  
Hehe, I think he's thirsty.)  
  
GOT MILK????  
  
(In other words, the end...finally!)  
  
Me: "So how did you like that Squall?"  
  
Squall: "...."  
  
Me: "Yep! Squall speaks for everyone don't you Squall?"  
  
Squall: "....." 


End file.
